{"id":531,"date":"2026-08-27T13:15:40","date_gmt":"2026-08-27T13:15:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blog.admissions.uiowa.edu\/rose\/?p=531"},"modified":"2026-08-31T13:19:49","modified_gmt":"2026-08-31T13:19:49","slug":"making-friends-as-an-upperclassman","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.admissions.uiowa.edu\/rose\/2026\/08\/27\/making-friends-as-an-upperclassman\/","title":{"rendered":"Making Friends as an Upperclassman"},"content":{"rendered":"

Hello Everyone,<\/span><\/p>\n

One of the things that everyone tells you is, “In college you will find your forever people,” so I just assumed freshman year would be where I found every one of my bridesmaids (me saying this as a single girl is silly, but you get it). But actually, I recently realized that thinking I would find every important person at age 19 is wild because I had so much to learn.<\/span><\/p>\n

I am such a people pleaser, and I want to make everyone happy. I am a giver too; I love giving my time and energy to people. I want to be enough, and so I found it in friendships in my first few years of college. I had to learn that letting go is OK. I truly believe friends should be contacting you as much as you contact them, or they should want to spend time with you. I lost friends after 3 months of thinking we were gonna be there for each other; it really devastated me. But looking back now, I see how we were never truly friends, and THAT IS OK! Now I have no discontent towards those people. I hope they make all their dreams come true. We just didn\u2019t fit into each other’s lives.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Anyway, let’s get back to how these last few years of college have really proven that you will honestly make stronger friendships. I believe that’s because I have finally grown a little and definitely am better at setting boundaries. I have mental rules for friendships and think everyone should have those. I try to make sure I am not the only one reaching out to spend time together. I also make sure I have at least one check-in every week or so.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I also am participating in workout classes and work a job I love where people show each other genuine support. I am finding ways to give myself time. So even if someone reaches out asking to spend time, and it’s my allotted time for myself, I ask to spend time together later. It’s not that I don\u2019t want to spend time with people, but I need time to decompress and breathe.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Lastly, I am giving myself grace. Having OCD, anxiety, and depression can be hard in any friendship. I am very aware that it can really make me unpredictable and overwhelmed in friendships. Recently, I have stopped letting myself spiral and think they all hate me. I write down what I like about them. This way, when I am telling myself I don’t belong or deserve friends, I remind myself that they chose to invite me. I am not pushing in, and I belong. I hope this helps you if you struggle in your first year like I did. Don’t worry, you are not alone, and there are so many people in this world who want you around and are waiting with open arms.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Cheers,
\n<\/span>Rose<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Hello Everyone, One of the things that everyone tells you is, “In college you will find your forever people,” so I just assumed freshman year would be where I found every one of my bridesmaids (me saying this as a single girl is silly, but you get it). But actually, I recently realized that thinking I would find every important person at age 19 is wild because I had so much to learn. I am …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":150,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-531","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.admissions.uiowa.edu\/rose\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/531","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.admissions.uiowa.edu\/rose\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.admissions.uiowa.edu\/rose\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.admissions.uiowa.edu\/rose\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/150"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.admissions.uiowa.edu\/rose\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=531"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/blog.admissions.uiowa.edu\/rose\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/531\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":552,"href":"https:\/\/blog.admissions.uiowa.edu\/rose\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/531\/revisions\/552"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.admissions.uiowa.edu\/rose\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=531"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.admissions.uiowa.edu\/rose\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=531"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.admissions.uiowa.edu\/rose\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=531"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}