So I ran.
Because I told myself to run.
Any by run I quite literally mean running—along the lines of jogging and cross country—and what a very thin line it is since it’s so easy to fall off of. The thing about running for more recreational or personal reasons as opposed to competition is that you can stop whenever you want. If you get tired, you can stop. If you get a cramp, you can stop.
But I ran because I told myself to run—several months ago… And now, in hindsight, I’ve realized that I was smarter than I thought.
A few months ago before coming to college I recorded a video of myself. No, not my Convocation audition video, something much more simple, and I had forgotten all about it until I decided to open it up due to the divine silence I had mentioned a couple of weeks ago. Now, having watched it, I must say:
Past-Austin was a genius.
He pretty much foresaw how I would feel and already had counter-measures in place to combat whatever negativity I was experiencing, and as if giving a prescription, he told me to run. To laugh. To spend time alone. But the final thing he told me to do was to write—
So here I am.
It’s quite ironic though… I’ve suffered quite a bit for being in touch with and familiar with myself, but watching that video reminds me that sometimes people don’t know what’s good for them, but it’s even rarer for a person to actually recognize what’s good for them outside of cheat-days and shopping sprees. I feel that people will try to fill a chasm with water and not dirt, and I speak from both observation and experience. However, I’ve gotten quite better at self-care, and it’s simply because I know myself and strive to learn more; so while I may bear consequences from the knowledge I have about “Austin”, I think the repercussions pale in comparison to the good it does me and even others at times…
I should let you know, however, that I recently ran a 5K, as per the instruction of my past self, for Dance Marathon, an organization that provides support to young cancer patients and their families; and while there, I had a very interesting encounter with Herky…
While Herky is mostly silent, his frustration and concentration were plain to see. I quite literally watched him play two whole games of Jenga because for some reason I was completely engrossed. To be honest, it was quite like watching a bear walk on its hind legs, maybe even on a ball, and through my extended period of observation I’ve learned that Herky only has four fingers. I did not know this…
Also, one more thing—
He stared at me for a good minute or so. I told you they were friendly!