Taylor

1. When you receive your acceptance letter, you are seriously like, “Is this real? Am I actually special? Has my whole life lead up to this?” And if you’re getting a scholarship, it’s like you’re Harry Potter himself.

2. We have a Haunted Bookshop. It has creepy stairs and doors, attic space, and roaming cats that stare at you from down the hall.

3. We have a mystical magical train that runs through campus, but apparently no one has ever seen it. We’ve all heard it though. It comes through at night, and leaves no trace.

4. Taking the stairs in any residence hall is extremely confusing. I’m not saying that they’re moving around at random intervals, but there is definitely something strange going on.

5. If you live a little further away from campus, you will see bats. They hover above you while you walk from your car to your apartment. Or maybe they’re not bats at all.

6. Hard workers are most worthy of admission. Sound familiar? It’s not an Iowa motto. It’s Hufflepuff. Whose colors we share. And everyone loves a Hufflepuff. They’re patient, true, unafraid of toil, and they’re the party house.

Just look at that black and yellow.

7. We are super intense about sporting events. We get all decked out in our gear, including the striped scarves, and crowd the stadium.

8. Our schedules are like wands. They guide us and make us. And just like at Ollivanders, someone advises you. They can smell the freshman on you and they know everything about everything. In the end, you never really pick your classes. They pick you.

9. We are governed by a force bent on making us smart, well prepared professionals. But sometimes it feels like attendance policies are traps and they are secretly trying to keep us here forever.

10. We have really big dining halls with a never ending assortment of food, and way too many windows.

11. This is literally what tailgating looks like.

12. The enemy school, Durmstrang Institute, shares Cyclone colors. Not to mention the same delusion that they will score better than us in the tournament.

13. The center of campus is on top of a hill. It lights up at night, sounds bells, and has that old school architecture that just breathes secrets.

So by now you are realizing just how different going to Iowa really is. And I know what you’re thinking.

But you just might be. So remember that as you’re taking your finals. Because wizards don’t fail. This is all just a test to make sure we’re ready for the responsibility of magic.

1. The Future Copy Editor

They are happy to edit your essays and mock your resumés.

2. That person who should not be in that major

I have changed my major twice, so I know about the stumble. Sometimes it hits you right in the face.

3. The person who destroys the curve

It’s like they were born to take this class.

4. English majors

Their lives are deep, dramatic, and mysterious odysseys. They can’t turn off the eloquence.

5. Discussion Dude

On the surface, questions appear serious. Usually turn out to be complicated musings. Everyone nods along.

6. People who pull all nighters

7. And people who don’t

It’s not for everyone. I draw the line at 2am.

8. Over sharers

These are the kids you occasionally sit next to, and never learn their name. However, you still know their whole life story.

9. This person

After tests. Downtown. At bus stops. They’re clearly winning. But no one’s sure what exactly.

10. Your new BFF

This is my personal favorite. Your partner in crime. You will become attached at the hip. You’ll memorize each other’s schedules. You’ll sign up for the same classes. You will coordinate grocery shopping. Trust me. It’s gonna get intense. Because out of 10,000 students who chose Iowa, you guys are going to choose each other. And that’s fate…or something.

11. YOU

If you decide to be a Hawkeye, we’ll meet you too!

Maybe you’re your own brand of crazy. Or maybe you’re surprisingly normal. Either way, we’d love to have you.

If you’re already a Hawkeye, chances are you’ve already caught the Herkitis- which means one of your friends is reading this and thinking how you are totally #9.

Let me just state, in a very calm manner, just as I have been doing for the last few weeks, how happy I am about finals.  I have been a fan of finals since freshman year of high school. The way the teachers completely loosen up and the class comes together to celebrate their perfection when it comes to test taking is really quite inspirational.  I remember one year, the Calculus class was so beloved that they all got automatic As. Not that they needed them- that test is traditionally super easy. As long as you are somewhat confident you know what concavity, cylindrical shells, and simple harmonic motion means, you’re set.

Since most people don’t play sports or bother to engage in extra curricular activities, we have this excess of time to study too. I mean, I study from sun up to sun down, and the in-room dining service delivers my macaroni n cheese promptly every night at 7pm.  I listen gratefully to the sound of myself chewing because the halls are the quietest they’ll ever be. So say it with me, “Thank God for Finals!”

Haven’t you been waiting for just the right moment to showcase your skills and prove to your teacher that you totally listen in the last row of lecture for the 23 minutes that you’re actually there? Or maybe you wanted to prove to your science teacher that you’re not an english major by writing a terrible essay. Or prove you’re a psychology major to your chemistry teacher by over analyzing her choice of questions, which were obviously selected just for you and your imminent demise. Or maybe you’re an engineer in rhetoric, and a bit confused about why you’re talking about the bridge. Shouldn’t you be building the bridge? (I am obviously not an engineer).

The point being, Finals is the one time in our lives when we get to really express ourselves, as individuals, and finally prove to the world that we are more than just a test score.  We are also GPAs and attendance records. Don’t let this moment pass you, it comes but twice a year for every year of college you decide to take. You deserve to experience every one.

So get out there and take those finals!

This is my desk, legit, where I am studying for ONE final. All of that is math.

Like many who came to Iowa despite the whispers of John Deere fanatics and more corn than you’d know what to do with, I worried those people were right.  Now I’ve never been a city girl but I am definitely not a country girl.  In fact, when you say country, I imagine a large white house, equipped with pillars, a wrap around porch, and a ton of green grass. (Think Parent Trap). There may even be a butler who brings lemonade. I do NOT think of corn, the smell of manure, dirt, dirt, gravel roads, corn, dirt and cattle.

But that’s what I discovered when I ventured to one of my floor mates hometowns.  After the shedding of tears, an hour of complaining and a few obscenities, I found myself up to my hips at the top of a pile of corn. And I am not exaggerating in the least.  I actually climbed a pile of corn. Man, my mother would be proud.

So if you were concerned you were/would be attending school in the middle of nowhere, stop now.  Because I’ve been to the middle of nowhere and it’s definitely not Iowa City.

It’s Albert City. The only thing that saved the weekend was knowing someone there, which meant knowing her friends. One of whom plays football so I didn’t have to go without a good game.  I was happy to cheer on the Rebels for a couple hours.

So despite the shock and having to sleep in a room with dead animals on the wall, I had a good time.  Iowa really opens up doors to network and explore. I certainly never thought I’d go to a farm but I did. And maybe I’ll be bringing them to New York in the spring so if you like to travel, that’s something to consider. The dorms are certainly the place to be! 🙂