Hey guys!

Finals week is coming to an end and winter break is finally upon us. I’m currently packing for my long plane ride home to New York and I’m so excited to be back with my family and hometown friends. However, something I’ve realized while being here is that friendships in college are WAYYY different than the friendships I made in elementary, middle, and high school. In college, I quickly learned to treat my friends here differently in order to maintain them and strengthen those bonds.

When it comes to maintaining your college friendships, here are my top tips:

The Importance of Reaching Out

This may be simple, but it’s essential to any relationship you have. To maintain a friendship, obviously, you have to hang out and talk with one another. Reaching out to make plans (even if they don’t work) or just chatting to see what’s up shows effort. Effort doesn’t have to be grand gestures or worldwide plans, but just showing you want to see someone and hear from them is enough to prove that you value their friendship.

Checking Up

This aligns with the last tip but checking up on someone with a simple “How are you doing” can speak volumes. Showing you care is vital for any relationship, especially friendships where you confide in one another often. People appreciate being checked up on and knowing that, even if you don’t talk every day, you are someone who is in their corner if they ever need a helping hand.

Making Plans

What’s important to realize is making plans can’t be one-sided! There should be a balance between who decides what the two of you are doing, even if it’s simply getting coffee, going for a walk, studying together, etc. Plans don’t necessarily have to be big events but be sure you’re actively trying to see the other person and the other person is actively trying to see you. Like I said earlier, even if the plans don’t work out, the effort is still there!

Deep Conversations

Yes, small talk is perfect for when a friendship is first starting out. It’s awkward to talk to a stranger about the hard things in life, but, after a while, small talk can only last so long. That’s why it’s important to show trust and tell people the hard stuff! To really strengthen the bond you’ve already begun to build, give people the ability to understand you for who you truly are and show empathy for what you’ve been through. Truly, this is what makes a friendship worthwhile.

Communication When You Don’t See Eye to Eye

One thing I will never understand is why people tend to sit with “uncomfort.” If you’re upset or angry or confused with someone, sitting on those emotions won’t help your relationship. If anything, you may begin to resent the other person. Caring about someone means doing things that may be out of your comfort zone in order to salvage the relationship. So, if something is bothering you, don’t be afraid to tell the other person. Chances are, they’ll be grateful you cared enough to talk to them about it rather than being unhappy with them.

Obviously, there are hundreds of different ways to maintain a healthy friendship. Each person will have a different perspective and show the meaning of friendship in their own way. In the end, it’s just about showing the other person they mean something to you!