I think one of the most comforting things about registering for school was picking out my top Living Learning Communities. These specialized groups promise to have students with similar interests and classes living on your residence hall floor; all really great ideas in theory. Although I do live with like-minded music people on the second floor of Currier and I do have at least two neighbors who I share classes with, I haven’t completely felt the sense of community with my floor as I was expecting to by the 11th week.

My LLC is JAM (Just About Music) and the only time my whole floor has ever been together in the same room was on one of the first few days of school for what I think was a mandatory orientation thing. Besides this instance, I’ve only ever interacted with the people on my floor when On Iowa was happening. I’m not sure how it worked for other floors and LLCs, but my On Iowa group was made up of a small group strictly from JAM. I thought that On Iowa was a great tool for learning more about the people who were going to be living near me. However, nearly three months later, the information I learned about my neighbors in that mandatory meeting ended up being the only information I know about them.

I know the names of the girls who live by me-Lauren, Rachel, Kaitlyn, and Jessie- but I’ve barely even spoken to them. The most we’ve communicated is by maybe following each other back on Snapchat and Instagram. I probably wouldn’t recognize anyone who lives on this floor and wasn’t in my On Iowa small group just simply cause our LCC hasn’t done much together. It’s probably also my fault for not willingly introducing myself to my neighbors but they haven’t done that either so…

I did attend an event that my RA set up for our floor, but only because we were taking a trip to Molly’s Cupcakes for free treats. I also know that Noelle, my RA, sets up little crafting events for us every now and then so I’m definitely given the opportunity to branch out and make new friends but I just haven’t yet. And now that the school year is nearly halfway over, I’m starting to feel like it’s too late.

I’ve barely made any friends here. I had hopes that my LLC would at least help me to connect with people, but it hasn’t. I have the biggest friend crush on the two girls who live across the hall from me, but we never actually communicate with each other. I want to be friends with these girls so bad and have actually gone to the lengths of following them on social media, but I’m too shy to ever ask them to hang out.

Don’t worry, I know all of this is my fault. I’ve been wanting to be friends with them for plenty of weeks now but I kept telling myself “Oh, you’ll talk to them eventually” and “Don’t stress about it, they might talk to you one day” only procrastinating it and now I feel like its too late.

I think about this frequently, and realize that I’m the only one to blame when I complain about not having any friends here. I start to feel regret for not being involved in a sorority or more activities or for not having a job. A lot of “what-ifs” pop into my head and I begin to question how to even make friends in this environment. I have had the same friends for basically all of my life and now, in college, I have to learn how to be a stranger to people again. It’s weird and I’m not used to it.

All of the people I talk to on a daily basis are friends I’ve met in high school. My boyfriend, roommate, and roommate’s boyfriend all graduated with me and these are the people I’m with every day. And those other kids I went to high school with, nearly 60 of them, don’t really talk to me anymore. I do have a few high school friends that communicate with me and ask me to hang out, but it’s quite rare since most all of them have new college friends now.

I knew this was going to be a problem for me because I like to do whatever is the most comfortable for me. I rarely ever break out of my shell in new environments, but I know with time I’ll be okay. As the days go by, I find myself talking to more and more people in my classes and making new connections so that’s good. I’ve tried reaching out to the people I do know here to help me and Celia find a third roommate for the three bedroom apartment we’re trying to live in next year and it’s going well. I just have to stay positive and hope for the best.

So don’t get your hopes up when applying for an LLC. If you know you’re a little shy like me, it’s going to be pretty hard to get to know your neighbors if you don’t put yourself out there. Trust me, I know that being brave and just introducing yourself to your neighbors is easier said than done. But as long as you’ve got a great roommate and at least a few people in your life here that make you happy, you’ll be okay.

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