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The Pressure to “Have It All Figured Out” at 20 and How To Respond To It!

Hello Everyone,

I am writing about something I feel strongly about, and how to deal with it. College has its ups and downs, but I feel something that all college students struggle with is that college is your choice and future, but one of the downsides is how everyone expects that at age 18 through your early 20s, you know exactly what you want to do with your life. But if I had a dollar for every time I had someone ask me what I plan to do with the rest of my life or what I am doing with my major, I would have quite a few. 

Now, I get that you might have a plan, and that’s awesome. Some people know exactly what they want at a young age. If I am completely honest, my first year, I had a plan which changed 4 times. Now I know what I am doing after college. We can never be sure what paths we will take even after graduation. It’s totally normal to not know what you plan to do with your life right now. I promise, if you love studying what you are doing in college, you have made the right choice for the time.

Now, when and if you have someone who is curious or asks you questions about your major, your choices, or your future, know it’s not out of malice; it’s usually out of curiosity, so you never should be annoyed and honestly get used to the questions. You can always start with “At the moment,” which reminds them that life changes. Give them grace; maybe they do want to know what you plan to do. As a creative writing major, I tell people I plan to work in social media marketing for small companies and maybe someday personally. I find that when I tell people that, they stop asking questions about my future and start asking more about the subject itself. We are all sometimes curious about something we don’t know, so be honest and kind.

Also, this is a bragging point. When you are good at something, whether it’s nursing, writing, piano, math, or science. Be proud of it. No one major or career path is better than another. So talk it up, give people your knowledge. I have actually found it’s a lot easier for people to accept your choices when you tell them your current truth. I also quite enjoy telling others about my plans (though I am a huge planner and I make plans years in advance) 

It’s ok to feel overwhelmed, too. If you do, just remind people that “you are young and are still figuring it out.” If they have more questions, you can always change the subject if you want to. Just know it’s ok not to know what you want to do. Also know you’re not alone. Last, Iowa has lots of resources that can help you decide what’s right for you in life. Remember, this is your life and your strengths, so keep going. You will not know what you fully want to do at age 20, but the best advice I have gotten is that you will constantly change what you want to do, so jump headfirst into what feels right. Anyway, I hope this all helps. Cant wait to see what you all do and what you learn. 

Cheers,
Rose 

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