Aug

29

Where’s the beef…and the bat?

category icon Posted in General

Nobody has left any comments yet suggesting what I should write about…

OH WAIT! What’s this letter I just found in the mailbag? [Editor’s note: We don’t have a mailbag…] It’s from the Iowa Cattlemen’s Association!

Dear Anne,

Why don’t you write about how delicious burgers are, especially when they’re made with 100% corn-fed black Angus Iowa beef?

Peace, love, and cowpies,

Iowa Cattlemen

Great idea! In order to properly address this request, I decided to do a little research. Even though I have “researched” this topic many times before, I thought it would be wise to approach it with the blog in mind, so tonight I walked downtown to Short’s Burgers to meet up with some friends and investigate the deliciousness of a genuine Iowa burger. [For legal purposes I should specify that the University does not endorse one particular Iowa City burger over another but nobody can deny these ones are pretty dang good.] One of the beautiful things about Iowa City is that everything is in walking distance. On the way downtown I passed the Ped Mall fountain, which, as I mentioned in my previous post, is one of my favorite spots in the city. That is how you know when it’s truly summer, when they turn the fountain back on.

to me, this is the definition of summer.

Short’s knows burgers and it knows them well. But not only that, Short’s is also an expert in fries. To keep this very vaguely admissions-related, if Short’s went to The University of Iowa, it double majored in Burgers & Fries. A Bachelor’s degree in DELICIOUS, if you will. They also offer chicken sandwiches or black bean burgers, but I always have my heart set on the beef. They have 20 different combinations of toppings for your burger, and all of the ones I’ve tried were outstanding, but tonight I was just in the mood for a good ole fashioned cheezboiger.

Let me just say, it did not disappoint. A home-baked bun, melty American cheese, crisp lettuce/tomato/pickle, the all-important ketchup & mustard…and the beef. That beef is Iowa perfected in meat form. Handcut fries that are not too crispy and not too floppy are the ultimate burger companion.

BEHOLD.

Oh, and did I mention that on Monday night the burgers (+fries) are just SIX DOLLARS?! Yeah, $6. Life is good.

They also have cheesecake on the menu, but after finishing that off, cheesecake will be the last thing on your mind. Standing up was not even really on my mind. So I walked to the Campus Recreation & Wellness Center, swiped my ID, and turned around and walked home. I had no intention of exercise post-burger, but I need to get up to 52 workouts this year to keep my staff discount, and just walking anywhere with that burger in my belly sounded like a workout to me.

As soon as I got home I started blogging, and all of the sudden, in swoops a BAT. In my living room. At my head. Needless to say, this was very unpleasant. There may or may not have been some shrieking and cowering in fear. That was soon followed by commando crawling through the apartment while aimlessly swatting with my tennis racket. This strategy was unsuccessful. I opened the door to the porch and as soon as he flew out there I trapped him. He’s still out there now. I’m realizing now that I should have caught this on video, because that would’ve been comedic gold and increased the hits to my blog to about 10.

The really bizarre thing is that this exact same thing happened last year at the end of August. I am therefore publicly apologizing for all the horrible things I’ve said about the “Twilight” series. Dear vampires of the world and your bat friends, please leave me alone now.

4 Responses to “Where’s the beef…and the bat?”

  1. Anne says:

    You are comedic gold.

  2. Ashton Delaney says:

    I’ve totally outdone myself this time…. You should see the size of the box I decided to use this time. Let’s just say it used to hold a washing machine and its a good thing I have a SUV.

    I’ll take a picture.

  3. Anne says:

    Dear Ashley…I mean, Ashton,

    Thanks for your touching and not at all creepy feedback. Actually, while you’ve been spying on ME all these years, I’ve been spying on YOU at the same time. And remember that time the residence halls put on a 5K run followed by smoothies at the finish line? And you just happened to make it back about 20 minutes ahead of everyone else? I saw you take that shortcut. It’s funny how easy it is to spy on someone when you’re spending most of your time together.

    Good suggestion for a blog post though. I will come up with a list, and you will most definitely be included.

    I miss you! I hope all is well at your new place in Chicago and you didn’t use too big of boxes when you moved.
    Anne

  4. Ashton Delaney says:

    Anne,

    I have been a fan of yours for years, but following your career and transformations has been difficult without an actual paper trail, I usually just walked a few steps behind you in the PedMall and ducked behind a nicely groomed Ginkgo tree or garbage can whenever you turned around. Needless to say, your blog has not only kept me up to speed with your life but also feeds me great information about the University of Iowa, an institution I have fond admiration for.

    As a student at the University of Iowa, what were some of the activities/events you were involved in that you will take with you for the rest of your life? What were some of the most memorable things you did that you feel every Iowa student should experience?

    Sidenote: you mentioned the fountains on the PedMall – remember that time a small child ran beside you and diverted the spray of the water directly onto you so you had to go to dinner soaking wet? You didn’t know I saw this happen, but I was watching from the windows on the second floor of the Iowa City Public Library. I had to chuckle to myself quietly as to not disturb those enjoying the serenity of the ICPL.

    Looking forward to another post!

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