Adam

The following post is a list of cool stuff I experienced this year.

1. I learned how to read a map. Wait, what? By taking the recreational, single credit hour class “Basic Orienteering,” I was given the chance at reliving childhood dreams of being Lewis/Clark. Although I wasn’t mapping the unknown or making friends with Native Americans, I did learn how to use a map and compass to navigate around in the woods. Will I ever need this skill? Probably not. But after hiking something like 5 or 6 miles around MacBride Nature Recreation Area, I did realize more of what I’m capable of. My group used a map and compass to find 11 different markers attached to trees, and did so completely off-trail. Plus, I snapped some really cool pictures. I’d suggest taking this class if you want to re-experience a childhood running around outside, or to appreciate the beauty of Iowa nature. Whatever recreational 1-hour class you pick, just make sure you do one before you graduate.
2. Iowa City is one of the few cultural hubs in the state, which means we get a ton of cool shows. Aziz Ansari, Bo Burnham, Michael Ian Black, and Seth Meyers were a few of the speakers/performers I managed to see this year. There were countless others that graced the city with their talents and craft, not to mention a lot of musical talent that visited. I even managed to organize and participate in a comedy show at Public Space 1 (the stand-up’s getting there…). Before you dive into actual adulthood, be sure to do something artsy in Iowa City.
3. Finally, I type this last point with tears rolling on to my keyboard (*sniff). Not really, but the last big point I’m going to mention involves the general academic opportunities I’ve been afforded at the University of Iowa. I (finally) made the effort to make friends with a TA, and the knowledge and outlook I learned from them has helped me grow a lot over the last few months. When junior-year talks about college started way back in high school, a lot of my classmates were concerned about becoming lost in the numbers of a large university. Iowa is a pretty big place, but you can stand out if you make the effort. The many opportunities to get involved make it seem a lot smaller.

Did you know Iowa was capable of this? Do you see the face?

I’m pretty pumped for the next two years.

-Adam

While our counterparts at Iowa State are graced with a dead week to “study,” we still find ourselves attending class.

Thank goodness.

While it may seem like a drag to not get a whole week off to study at whatever pace you desire, the structure of this last week will probably be doing you a huge favor. Have you ever had a bunch of homework to do over a weekend? Your Saturday’s totally free, so you’ll take care of some of it then, and then the rest on Sunday morning, leaving time for plenty of activities.

Then, 9 p.m. on Sunday’s shown up and you’ve done NOTHING. Things got so busy with the Facebook and the…Facebook. Better rationalize it by complaining about how much work you have on Facebook!

I’m super grateful that this university is forcing me to attend classes. It’s for my own good. Really. I feel like we’re actually lucky to be graced with review sessions so close to finals. Those that have been keeping up with their studies will get a good refresher, and the rest of us will have material to guide our panic-stricken week.

Coffee’s cheap, most of life isn’t. It’s better to not waste study time playing Spent (it’s a pretty enlightening game, I suggest looking it up), study, and then avoid playing Spent in real life (again, you’d really need to play it for a few minutes to understand what I mean).

Good luck,

Adam

It’s too cold, tooooooo damn cold. It’s amazing how drastic my perception of the winter has changed within the last 10 years. 10 years ago this weather would have been a gift. Cold meant snow, and snow meant sweet freedom from academic ties that now seem laughable. Now, all that the cold means is layers. The cold means a nose that is both runny and numb, leading me to mistake the purpose of the glances from the girl at the bus stop. Cold means freezing my buns off outside, then melting from the overkill heating within most of the buildings on campus.

And that snow thing? Please, please keep it away from me until winter break is in session. Let me get far away from the need to commute (reliably) from place to place before it becomes a hassle. Cold snowy weather means lots of Puffs with lotion (for the sensitive nose), and pretending to like soup. I don’t like soup.

Not all is lost to Jack Frost (whom I liken to the member of the boy-band with the frost tips hair style) though. The cold weather means a change in style. Coats and sweaters add a flair to the day; one that would be beyond uncomfortable during warmer months. Plus, now there’s an excuse to indulge in expensive, cold weather themed coffee (gotta get that Pumpkin Pie Latte!).

The two-week-tumble between Thanksgiving and winter break is hectic. It’s painstakingly there. It’ll be a cold one. Button up, hunker down, and invest in wool socks.

-Adam

Wanna hear a joke? An outspoken “religious” figure walks on to the T. Anne Cleary Walkway… and a lot of people freak out. You probably saw the mob surrounding the boisterous figure for several days last week. I can’t blame anyone who decided to lend him an ear: I’d probably pay attention to you if you were damning me to hell.

Turns out Jedi mind tricks aren’t only for the movies.

What makes this certain individual not only draw a crowd, but stir such crazy emotion? Stop to listen, and not only will you experience extreme religious claims, but you’ll get to see girls making out, students holding signs and hear some pretty ferocious remarks belted by those passing by. It’s like he can use Jedi (see what I did there? Play on his name) mind tricks, and it’s amazing how belligerent people will become in an attempt to change the mind of one individual.

Why?

Go to his website, and you’ll see he has a schedule of campuses he plans on visiting. He’s going everywhere! It’s almost like he goes on tour, like rock bands do. He’s essentially a celebrity, and has created quite the hype through his outrageous ideals. We see this often, from Stephen Colbert’s character on The Colbert Report to Lady Gaga’s ridiculous meat outfit drawing huge media attention. Sensationalism pulls the crowd. And he’s really mastered his character. No matter what you try, he’s not going to break.

So what’s the solution?

Well, unless you plan on stopping by for a laugh at other students, the best way to make a statement against this certain “Brother” is to keep walking. Don’t give him the time of day. You’ll do yourself a giant favor, and take away the stuff that allows him to keep doing what he’s doing: Attention.

He’s just flexing freedom of speech, and by getting just as ridiculous in protest, you’re stooping to his level, and raising your blood pressure for no reason.

-Adam

Work’s been going alright. The only on the job injury is when my legs fall asleep, so I can’t complain. Low stress would be an overstatement. However, something happened last Thursday that’s worth sharing, so your put reading hats on.

It was a pale morning, and the rain began to gently darken the pavement. The overcast sky and cool weather was something I had been looking forward to for months; it was finally sweatshirt weather. I took a sip from my S.T.A.T. tumbler, full of lukewarm coffee. The woman in the booth next to me, my coworker, reminded me how early it was with a weary smile.

Ticket after ticket, I allowed the hospital staff (every one of them mimicking my coworker’s expression after their twelve hour shifts) to depart for home, and much needed rest. While it was hard to tell the number from where I was sitting, it was clear that the line of cars stretched far back into the ramp. I dictated whether or not these exhausted life savers would be allowed salvation after their long endeavors. I grinned at the dark humor of the thought as the line began to finish.

The final car wasn’t like the others. The rusting blue paint and lack of license plates stuck out in comparison to the caravan of well-to-do vehicles that had just come through. As it rolled closer, the goosebumps forming down my arms weren’t just from the foreign fifty degree weather. The machine in the booth that processes stubs couldn’t handle this one; it was long, sharp, and made of tempered steel.

With the knife at my throat, I peered down at the wrinkled face of my most belligerent customer to date.

“It seems I’ve forgotten my wallet, think you can spot me for this one?” he asked in a manner that oozed pure cliche.

“I think your permit’s expired!” I yelled in an equally cheesy manner, slamming the window shut on his arm and making him drop the Bowie Knife to the floor. In falling, the blade sliced lightly along my pant leg, and  my jeans began to absorb a thin line of blood as I grabbed my trusty red Streamline stapler and dove out of the booth.

This driver’s next ticket was equally as useless to the processing machine, but much louder, as a barrage of shots made deafening echoes bounce through the concrete structure.

Taking cover behind an orange traffic cone, I waited for a break in the gunfire. When the opportunity arose, I stood up from my Hollywood-adequate protection.

“Here’s your stapler, Milton!” and with that obscure reference, I flung my stapler at my assailant’s chest. With a resounding “CHA-CHICK,” the office device planted thin metal lightly into his heart.

“You haven’t…heard…the last of us,” he said with his dying breath, hinting at a sequel. I dug the actual parking stub out of his jacket and put it into the reader. He had been there under fifteen minutes.

“You’re good to go, have a nice day sir,” I said before collapsing from the blood loss.

This didn’t happen. Really, it was a boring week, and I decided to be creative. Again, this was a fictional story. I want to make it clear that my job is very safe, and that I didn’t kill a man with a stapler.

In terms of eventfulness, this was an extremely busy week. It was full of action, adventure, and heartbreak. Sit back, and allow me to weave you three tales to describe (as best I can) the life changing experiences that made the last seven days more exciting than the usual.

Action:

Get a job with parking, see this.

Last week, I started my new job. I’ll give you a few hints as to what it is; I chase down bad guys, wear cool gear, and save Gotham from most certain destruction. If you guessed “Parking Booth Operator,” great guess! I would have accepted “Parking Booth Guy,” too. I bet most males aged 12-24 would love to have Batman’s job, but this one’s alright too. The gig itself is very easy: take money, make change. It pays well, and the downtime between customers means there’s a lot of opportunities to get paid for homework (or Netflix movies). The most threatening part is when a middle-aged woman rolls up, and scrutinizes the amount of change I’ve given her for a full minute. It’s the right amount, I promise.

Adventure:

On Thursday of the past week, I stepped up and took on the biggest fear known to man: public speaking. The Campus Activities Board (CAB) hosted an open mic competition at T.Spoons, offering aspiring musicians and comedians their chance at claiming one of three cash prizes (I guess you could call the Campus Activities Board the “Cash CAB” this week… haha…) for best performance. While I wasn’t one of the three to be handed a gift card (all of the awards went to very talented musicians), being patted on the back and congratulated several times was payment enough. Hell, maybe I’ll try stand up again! As long as I don’t get cold feet (like a penguin… ha… ha… O.k. I’m done).

Heartbreak:

I end my post today with a story of spirit crushing heartbreak. It could also be a case of depressing comedy, depending on the kind of person you are. Last Tuesday, as you may have been able to tell by the line stretching a block and a half down Clinton, was the 20th birthday of Panchero’s. Now, I’m not typically a huge fan (and NEVER bump up the burrito at football games), but like a mosquito drawn to a bright light that would ensure my death, I was part of the line for $1 Burritos.

You can almost see Panchero’s from here!

A friend and I boarded the line at 3:45 p.m., assuming I’d have enough time to get a burrito and make it to my 5 o’clock class. For over an hour, I stood there, wiped sweat from my brow, and tanned my arms. It was the closest thing to the drought that I’ve experienced. As 4:50 clicked on to the sign of a local bank (right after the stupid thing reminded me, AGAIN, that it was 93 degrees out), I managed to peek inside of the gigantic free-for-all that was the restaurant. I made the decision to split the difference and leave. The good student inside of couldn’t stand to miss the only lecture I have that grades attendance. I was heartbroken.

So there are the highs and low of my last week. I’d say it was pretty satisfying. Not too busy, not too boring, but enough action, adventure, and heartbreak to inspire a Hollywood blockbuster.

While clumping around campus this week, and getting more into the expected lifestyle of a college student (and thinking of something to blog about), I came up with a few key things that’ll help you manage your time as a student at the University of Iowa. Now, you don’t HAVE to take my advice word for word, but I’m sure you’ll find some pretty good stuff listed. Also, a lot of these are very common sense, just saying.

1.) Watch out for this cross-walk. It’s the one that puts a break in Jefferson Street and spits you out of the T. Anne Cleary Walkway, and it’s undoubtedly one of the most busy on campus for most of the school day. It was designed this way for a purpose, and it should be obvious to most people. However, most isn’t all. You’ll occasionally see the kid hauling to wherever he has to go (I can only assume it’s an “emergency”) who’ll do his best to not stop. He may even honk, because you taking the right of way means being in his way. Even the bus drivers, with their giant, elephant-sized vehicles, will make more of an effort to stop for you than this lunatic driving his 1997 Ford Taurus.

2.) Try to eat something healthy. It sounds pretty obvious, but really, you’ll feel like junk if you keep going into Burge and loading up on plates of fries and burgers. I thought I had learned, but after a 10 p.m. McDonald’s run, I’m no different. The food sat in my gut and pestered me for hours. Anyway, eat some fruits and veggies. If we all followed the recommended guidelines, we’d lack time to do much else, but an extra bowl of lettuce is a start.

3.)Go and lift, but not with your back. Being a student at Iowa, you have access to some really great exercise facilities. The Rec Center is, most definitely, top of the line (and has great smoothies), and has ways to exercise that accommodate any interest. Going along with eating healthy, exercising can help you look and feel great, and help you relax after a stressful day. There are a lot of other great options around campus too. The cost is probably included somewhere in your student fees, so make the most of what you’re paying for (and seriously, try a smoothy from the Rec Center at least once).

4.) Get some tea and some honey. The other day, I tried to call out to a friend, and my voice cracked. It wasn’t used to the stress associated with screaming. Football season’s getting extremely close, so be sure to stock up on some tea (I suggest Irish breakfast) and honey to soothe the damage you’ll be doing to your vocal chords. If you didn’t lose your voice a noticeable amount, you weren’t yelling enough at the game.

5.) Spruce up your space. While a bare room has an artistic feel to it, it’s not a liveable space. Get some posters, some plants, and maybe even a fish to liven up your new home. My apartment complex (sadly) does not allow anything out of water (and hamsters can’t swim forever), but we still brought a new edition into our place. His name is Jack, and he’s probably the toughest guy in the apartment. Also, he’s very adamant about having a clean living space. You should be too.