Meg

• Are you from England? Seriously? Is that why you have a Union Jack on your door?

Yes, I am. It was not just for decoration. I was hoping it was making a statement.

 

• Do you say Bum or Butt in England?

To be quite honest with you, it is not often that I tend to enter into a conversation that requires the use of either of those words. I suppose if I must choose I think I have to pick Bum.

 

• Can you say Harry Potter for me please? Can you say it again?

 

Harry Potter, Harry Potter, Harry Potter…

 

• Do you think my British accent is convincing?

….yeah

 

• What is the biggest difference between here and England?

The weather, the bugs, the people, the number of times I hear the words ‘dude,’ ‘bro,’ and ‘y’all’ in a single day. The little things, you know?

 

• Fish and Chips? Really? Just crispy fish and fries?

No! You’re not getting this. It is so much more than simply fish and fries. I can’t explain. You just have to try it. And under no circumstances miss out the mushy peas.

 

• Have you Got loads of fit Guys in England?

I don’t know where you got the impression that we are over flowing with attractive males. You realise that the entirety of the UK can fit into Texas EIGHT times, right? Statistically, there is a greater abundance of attractive guys here in America. Not that we don’t have any. Just not enough for all of you.

 

• Are you missing Home?

Yes but then I listen to the ‘Footloose’ soundtrack and remember why I came –and yes I realise basing my decision on which degree to do partly on my love for the soundtrack for a Kevin Bacon film isn’t necessarily the most solid foundation for a decision, but it hasn’t led me wrong yet.

 

• What made you choose Iowa? Seriously though, of all of the places in the whole of the US, you chose Iowa?

I heard it had a good writing programme…and it looked quite nice on the website… and you picked it too remember!

 

• Just say ‘dollop’. And ‘cinema’. And ‘Sheffield.’ And again.

Dollop. Dollop. Cinema. Cinema. Sheffield. Sheffield.

 

• Are you seriously allowed Kinder Eggs in England? They’re illegal here.

Yes we are. And why are they illegal? They’re 5% chocolate, 65% toy and 30% air. There is nothing to them. It’s not even a mouthful of chocolate.

 

• Do you just love London? I just love London.

Sorry to disappoint you but you have just met one of the few British people who dislikes London rather thoroughly.

 

• My cousin went to England once.

That’s nice. Where’d they go? Oh, London…right.

 

• Which NFL team do you support?

I’ve just been told off for calling it a Football Pitch. Repeatedly. I just asked if we’d scored a goal. I think we can both safely assume that American Football isn’t for me.

 

• Aren’t One Direction just amazing?!

Honestly, I liked them when they were on X Factor but now I leave them for the tweens to enjoy. Did I mention my Mum works in the same hospital as one of their mums? Hello? Are you okay? Is she okay? Woah! Calm down. Breathe. No, I never met him.

 

• Do People in England really use the word ‘Bloody’ as a swear word?

Well not as a standalone word. You have to add something else to it otherwise there’s no point.

 

• What does the Queen actually do?

She provides moral support and nice grandsons who marry commoners on a Friday meaning that everyone gets an extra day off school and something to cheer about. Other than that, walk her corgis? I’m not entirely certain but I’m glad she’s there.

 

• I just love the Royals. Do British people love them too?

Yes, I rather think that most of them do.

 

• So will Scotland have another election next year as well? Also which bit is Scotland? Isn’t it all just Britain?

No! It has never happened before and, with any luck, it will never happen again. Also, it was a referendum not an election. I can assure you it is not an annual thing. Now, let’s go find a map…

 

• How often do British people drink Tea? Is the stereotype exaggerated?

Different people will answer this question differently. I, however, am more than happy to fulfil this stereotype. I like to put the kettle on every time I re-enter the house. It’s not really important how long I have been outside. I need tea to make serious decisions and it is essential for rebalancing hormonal/emotional episodes. And I honestly do believe that all conflicts can be resolved with tea and cake. Now, we’ve done too much talking about tea without actually consuming any. Time to stick the microwave on (it just doesn’t sound or taste the same as ‘stickin’ kettle on.’ )

 

• I didn’t quite Understand you…what was that? You want to go to the softball field?

I’m sorry, but in what way does DEVONIAN FOSSIL GORGE sound like Softball Field? Never mind, we’ll just google map it.

 

• Is it Very rainy in the UK?

Yes, I don’t carry an umbrella everywhere because I’m pessimistic. It’s because I have been caught out too many times.

 

• What do you miss most about home?

My family and friends, tea that doesn’t taste metallic, Yorkshire Puddings and gravy, being allowed to drink (not drinking itself, I just like knowing I have the option) and as an extension of that-going to the pub and not having to leave before 10pm, my cats, my clothes – I did not pack everything I ought to have done. I miss my jumpers and my dresses! And finally, the stretch of the A19 that runs behind Eggborough Power Station going towards Selby.

 

• Do you think you’ll become an eX-pat? (Okay I struggled with this one. The question was do you think you’ll move to America one day?)

Absolutely, 100% no. Three years ago I wanted the pickup truck, the wooden house with the wrap around porch and the kids with an American twang, but being here has made me appreciate England and Yorkshire so very much. I now know that I need to be in a place where there are three prongs on the plug, where public transport is wide spread and effective, and where the letter ‘H’ is optional in speech.

 

• What did you just call the Yo-ghurt?

Yog-hurt. I also say Toe-mart-o rather than To-mate-o. And Ban-narn-a rather than Ban-nan-na. Why is Ban-narn-a funny? It’s really not that funny.

 

• Zed? That is so cute! It’s so Canadian. I’m going to start saying Zed instead of Zee.

Glad you like it. What’s that? Fine. Harry Potter.

This entry was posted on Friday, October 3rd, 2014 at 2:14 pm and is filed under General, . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a comment, or trackback from your own site.